The Amazing Race Season 17 Recap: Episode 5
By Daron Aldridge
October 25, 2010
BoxOfficeProphets.com
As the teams on sitting on top of the world on the border of Norway and Sweden, they begin their departures.
6 a.m. – Doctors Nat & Kat are the first to leave. Surprisingly, last week’s edit was deceptive because at…
6:04 a.m. – Daddy/daughter Gary & Mallory leave only a few minutes later than the leaders. Little Miss Sunshine Mallory expresses her extreme delight in running this race with her dad, who is a huge fan of the show.
6:05 a.m. – Team HSN Brook and Claire virtually tied at the Pitstop with Gary & Mallory. Brook explains their team dynamic: she is a "crazy animal" and Claire is a "calm storm" so if they come together they would be a perfect creature. I am not sure but I think she meant to call Claire the "calm BEFORE the storm" because a "calm storm" is definitely an oxymoron.
6:30 a.m. – Father/son Michael & Kevin head out in fourth place after a solid showing last leg. Kevin shares that this is the last time for him to "live" with his dad because of college. Michael cracks himself up by saying this is the last time for them to “sleep together, eat together, travel together and pee together.” Sorry, Kev but you can’t escape parental embarrassment, even on another continent.
6:48 a.m. – Dating Jill & Thomas leave and repeat their common refrain about how Thomas went to Notre Dame and Jill went to cosmetology school. But he then adds that he thought he would end up with someone else that went to college. Yes, it was as cold as it seems and that snippet will have undoubtedly been a topic of conversation at their house during the episode viewing (provided they are still together and don’t implode after the race).
7:11 a.m. – Vegas Ink Nick & Vicki leave in sixth and demonstrate that the even the word "gondola" is hard to pronounce for them.
8:12 a.m. – The other dating couple Chad & Stephanie are in second-to-last. I think that I may be reversing my gut reactions about these guys and Jill & Thomas because Chad seems to be more calm and apologetic when needed, whereas "unhappy" is about the only way I can describe Jill & Thomas on the race and in their relationship.
8:34 a.m. – Pro volleyball players Katie and Rachel have been successfully dwelling in the basement and proving me wrong that they could win it all. Maybe this will be their turning point. Rachel (or was it Katie?) focuses in on the fact they are there to race and not make friends – “It’s Amazing Race, not Amazing Friends.”
So there’s the lineup and the teams are crossing into Norway one-by-one to head to the Narvik Gondola where the clue sits atop the mountain. Predictably, the doctors get to the gondola first and Nat, the diabetic one, tries to curry sympathy from Kat, who knows of Nat’s near-crippling fear of heights. But with them making their way up and with tears welling up in Nat’s eyes, Kat ignorantly observes, “This has to be highest one.” I would hate to see her bedside manner for strangers.
The ladies get to the clue and lo and behold, it includes a Fast Forward. Since they are first, they wisely opt for the Fast Forward, which cryptically says they have to complete a Norwegian Christmas tradition. But the sneaky Phil points out to the viewers that said tradition is eating an entire roasted sheep’s head.
Team HSN gets to the gondola as the doctors are descending and climb aboard. Gary & Mallory get there but barely miss the same group of gondolas, so they are stuck waiting and riding up with Michael & Kevin, who are in fourth. For those not in first place and ‘head’-ing to the Fast Forward, the next clue directs them to the Skjombrua bridge. (My apologies for the abundance of puns in this recap already.)
As Team HSN waits for the gondola to take them back, a hyperactive Brook does her best Marcel Marceau by "pulling" the gondola to her. At times on the race, I actually wish Brook would adopt the mime’s practice of not speaking. All three of these teams correctly deduce that the Fast Forward is probably not a possibility and head to the bridge.
Zoinks, Scoob! Nat puts it out that this maybe an eating challenge, which wouldn’t be a big deal except that pesky vegetarianism that Kat has been practicing for 22 years. As unappetizing as the roasted sheep cabeza is to me, who is far from a vegetarian, Kat may just vomit at the sight of it.
As the others make their way down, they are none too pleased to see that Jill & Thomas have caught up to them and put the pressure on to get moving.
Nat & Kat arrive at the Fast Forward and with the sight of plates and water; Nat is regretting that she was right about this being an eating task. Then the regret goes through the roof at the side of the main dish. Kat just pinches her nose and gets to eating. The price of compromising your decades-long dietary beliefs is apparently one million dollars.
Gary & Mallory get to the bridge right after Michael & Kevin and learn that it is a Roadblock that will be very physically taxing. So, Gary and Kevin gear up for the task, which involves rappelling off the bridge to the water below, where a boat will give them their clue before they can use an ascender to go back up. Oh yeah, the distance from the bridge to the water below is about 130 feet. This is going to be tiring to watch let alone do.
Brook & Claire show up and Claire loses out as Brook says she will do the next one no matter what it is. As Claire heads to the bridge, she brings a little U.S. culture to Norway by explaining the unpleasant phenomenon of wedgies to her guide. He doesn’t seem too charmed.
While Kevin descends from the bridge a steady pace, Gary lets gravity do the work for him and basically does a freefall to the water. Both guys are just waiting now for the boat with the clue. As they wait, Nat & Kat have polished off their plate of head meat and head for the Pitstop at the Ankenes Marina.
Making me think I have been too hard on them for their errors, Nick & Vicki foolishly (which is not nearly strong enough of a word) head to the Fast Forward. Nick explains they have to hurry because all the teams will be doing it. This tells me that these two have probably never seen a single episode of this show. If it worked the way Nick thinks, why would the producers give all the teams the option of either doing one task or two tasks? Who in their right mind would choose a Roadblock and Detour? So, I shouldn’t judge or mock them for not knowing the race flag colors or misreading their clue because they clearly aren’t well-versed in race basics.
Dating Chad & Stephanie are still in seventh place but Chad rightfully fears that the volleyballers are right behind them. Speaking of them, Katie bizarrely rationalizes their low rankings as better because there would be too much pressure on the first place team to keep up that pace. She’s right because they would also have the pressure of figuring out how to spend a million dollars when they win. I am speechlessly disappointed that these girls don’t have the fire that the Globetrotters did.
Kevin gets a clue and starts the long way back up to the bridge with Gary right behind. Just a couple of ropes over, Claire gets her clue at the bottom and Thomas employs the rapid descent method of Gary.
Back to the aimlessly wandering duo of Nick & Vicki, they get to the Fast Forward location and find a sign saying the “Fast Forward is taken.” To prove their complete cluelessness, both of them still don’t understand what that means. Vicki even confesses in the post-leg interview and she is still confused about it. C’mon, did the producers not screen this team at all?
Back to the team that actually understands what the Fast Forward is and successfully completed it; Nat & Kat hit the Pitstop mat before two teams have even reached the gondola clue.
Finally, Chad & Stephanie find the clue box with the volleyballers in last but within striking distance.
At the Roadblock, Thomas has passed a struggling Claire on the ascension but is still behind Kevin and Gary, who are done. They are now heading to a clue in a random, unremarkable looking field. Brook’s encouraging words are not doing the trick as Claire finally gives her team mate a hearty and deserved “Just shut up.” Then Brook has to go and play the recently deceased grandma card for inspiration. But it works for Claire and she powers through the Roadblock.
Next, we see that Katie & Rachel have a pretty tight grip on last place as they now have their first clue and one team is at the Pitstop, four teams are done with the Roadblock and en route to the Detour, and two other teams are about to start the Roadblock. They need a disastrous showing by one team to keep them in it.
Vicki eagerly jumps at the chance for the Roadblock and I can’t figure out if Nick’s sour expression is because he thinks that the Fast Forward was taken from them or if Norway has a distant unpleasant odor to it. Vicki owns this task with a quick rappel down and an impressively fast ascension. Chad gets started on the Roadblock not much behind her but he can’t catch Vicki’s pace.
It’s Detour time as Michael & Kevin get their next clue. We have Boat or Bike. Both are pretty straightforward tasks. "Boat" has the teams use a map to guide their boat captain around the shore to a dock. Then they must carry two 20-pound cod and a chainsaw up a long path to a cabin before they get their clue and take a return boat ride. "Bike" has the teams ride mountain bikes up a rocky path and winding, steep roads to legend color-coded with a bike lock combination. Then they have to ride back down and open their lock for the clue. Personally, given that one of the teammates just endured a physical Roadblock, I would be inclined to choose Boat.
Because of their teams’ go-to excuse of Michael’s health, the father and son duo choose Boat. How did Michael get cleared to participate on this race if he is that frail? Did the Amazing Race producers use the same medical screening team as this season’s Survivor that gave near-invalid Danny the green light? In third and fourth, Jill & Thomas and Gary & Mallory go with Bike and Team HSN takes Boat.
With dating teams Vicki & Nick and Chad & Stephanie just leaving the Roadblock, the volleyballers feel as if they still have a chance to catch up. Katie suits up for the challenges and gets to work.
Meanwhile, Michael & Kevin are ashore and lugging their supplies. To Michael’s credit, he doesn’t pawn off carrying the chainsaw to Kevin, even though his son offers. About that time on the other task, both Jill & Thomas and Gary & Mallory get their lock combinations. Of course, the challenge wouldn’t be complete without Thomas snapping at Jill for questioning him about memorizing the combination.
Once they open the lock, both teams dash for their cars and the Pitstop. Team HSN is now off the boat and looking for the cabin with two cod tails smacking Brook on the derriere. She giddily reenacts it for us during the interview. It finally occurs to me that Brook is the non-surly version of Brita from NBC’s Community (which if you aren’t watching, you are truly missing out).
More contempt is polluting Jill & Thomas’s car as they are arguing over being lost and Jill (accurately) points out that the big bridge in front of them is same one from the Roadblock. Of course, Thomas disagrees and Jill fires back with “Oh, I’m sorry, you know every single bridge.” I don’t know how or why these two are still together. They don’t even seem to like each other and we know they don’t tolerate one another that much. Just as lost are Michael & Kevin but without the hate.
Gary & Mallory are the opposite scenario and hit the mat in second place. They are greeted with the arched eyebrow of Phil, who doesn’t say they are second but rather does his magic eyebrow trick twice to tell their place. Phil is apparently part horse.
While Vicki dominated the Roadblock, Nick confidently explains that he has been competing on BMX bikes since he was 12, so they will definitely be doing Bike. The physical challenge-averse Stephanie decides that she and Chad will be doing Boat.
In a beautiful example of misplaced hubris, BMX Bandit Nick falls over a few times and gets winded so he has to push the bike. All the while, Vicki is having no problem but is being very supportive of Nick. That’s okay, Nick, I can say that I have been playing golf for about 15 years but I still suck. Sorry I’m not as encouraging as Vicki.
Brook & Claire continue their bizarre/unsanitary side project of kissing everyone as they get their clue directing them to the Pitstop.
A still lost Michael & Kevin are now following Jill & Thomas in a true case of the blind leading the blind. But their wanderings do have one benefit – duping volleyballers Rachel & Katie into thinking they still have a chance. Rachel incorrectly assumes that Jill & Thomas passed the bridge still looking for the Roadblock clue. Katie finishes the Roadblock and when they reach the Detour, there are two cars and they naively say, “Maybe we can pass another team.” Isn’t it so cute that they think they have actually done well this leg?
Finally, Thomas is able to flag down a car and get correct directions to the marina. Michael & Kevin are still drafting off them and look to follow them the entire home to the mat. Both teams hoof it to the mat with the dating couple in third and the father and son in fourth. Despite smacking herself in the face with the car door and getting Phil’s admiration for staying upbeat, Brook gets to mat with Claire in fifth place.
Vicki & Nick have no issues with finding the marina but Nick is obviously oblivious about what is going on around them as he mutters walking up to the mat “I think we’re second.” How about sixth? And during the rest period between legs, you should probably brush up on the tasks, clues and vernacular of the Amazing Race.
As they are heading back to their car, Chad & Stephanie pass the girls on their way to the dock. The producers try their best to edit in the dating team needing to ask for directions with shots of the volleyballers leaving the Detour but the writing has been on the wall the whole episode. Chad & Stephanie once again eke by and live to race another day with a seventh place finish.
This means that the team I pegged to be the first all-female team to win The Amazing Race is the fourth team eliminated. I am bummed that I was so wrong about them but without an equalizing factor like an airport or public transportation, the girls only really stood a chance of passing Chad & Stephanie. All the other teams were nearly an hour and a half ahead of them.
Next week brings us some Russian fun and Brook stepping in poo. I can’t wait.