The Amazing Race All Stars Recap
By Daron Aldridge
March 29, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Anyway, last week’s happenings shuffled things a bit for me in the power rankings. Here goes:
1. (tie)Father/daughter Gary & Mallory (Season 17) and Cowboys Jet & Cord (Season 16) – Even though they played their Express Pass last time, Gary & Mallory showed they can race well by actually making it five episodes (or three legs) before feeling as if they needed to play it. But the fact they played it and still ended up second to the cowboys is why the father/daughter combo shares the pole position here with the Oklahoma brothers. Jet & Cord have regained their race prowess over the last couple legs and Jet was far and away the most skilled at the dinosaur Roadblock. At this point, I see both of these teams racing to the finish line against each other.
2. Sisters Kisha & Jen (Season 14) – Our other sibling team continues to race well but slipped a bit last week with the cursed Roadblock, which knocked them from first to fifth. They still have had a strong showing on the race thus far and I believe they could break away from the back of the pack for a spot in the final three.
3. Mother/son Margie & Luke (Season 14) – So their previous first place non-finish at the faux-Pitstop may not have been a fluke after all. They secured third last week and without relying upon their alliance with Jaime & Cara. I miscalculated who was the dominant team in that alliance. This week will show if they can race well without those crutches.
4. Globetrotters Flight Time & Big Easy (Season 15) – The guys laughed in the face of a U-Turn and didn’t hesitate to celebrate that they overcame it to land in sixth on the mat. The very fact that they were neck-and-neck with the cheerleaders through the U-Turn and they zoomed past them says it all. They still reside out my top three because I am still failing to see their race magic from Season 15.
5. Best friends Zev & Justin (Season 15) – While he didn’t fall apart like Zev did with the zodiac wind chime, Justin struggled a long time with the dinosaur. That makes back-to-back Roadblocks that resulted in pitiful performances by my once-favored-to-win team. IF they get their act together then they could be a threat but right now, they are a couple of teams removed from even the final three.
6. Goth couple Kent & Vyxsin (Season 12) – The wisely played U-Turn against the cheerleaders gave the Goths a reprieve but they are still too unstable and potentially uncooperative to amount to actual contenders.
7. Father/Daughter Ron & Christina (Season 12) – Christina may have kept her cool during last week’s Roadblock (oh my, can you imagine the apocalyptic outburst if Ron was the dino constructor?) but she made several errors that pushed them farther down in the slots at the Pitstop. Coupled with the uncanny ability to get lost, these two remain power ranking bottom dwellers.
Jet & Cord are the first to rip into their clue to find out that they are heading to…a tea shop in China. The disappointment that the viewer may feel in hanging around China is echoed by several of the teams who are clearly not fans of the country. They each head off to said tea shop and must drink a cup of a papaya mango tea to get their clue. Phil drops some knowledge on the viewer that this tea will be the same one they will need to identify in a later challenge.
Gary & Mallory get to the shop first with the cowboys right behind them. After polishing off their tea, the clue points them to Calcutta, India.
As we go through each of teams leaving the Pitstop and making it to the tea shop without any drama, the only team that actually inquires about the tea’s flavor is Ron & Christina. Since Ron has spent the better part of his time in China eyeing or eating food, this is not shocking at all. Also of note: Zev is wearing shiny silver pajamas. He and Justin decided that this unique wardrobe choice would be a nice change for them. If they say so, but it really just looks like Zev is either a member of Devo or a baked potato.
The producers don’t waste any time showing the teams jockeying for flights. Everyone is on the same one that touches down in India and is followed by a mad dash out to the taxis for the teams. This whole scene is bizarre and reeks of producer-staging. The teams run out of the airport down a very deliberately clear aisle surrounded by rows and rows of people. I half expected an announcer to chime in with calling all the teams’ names, a la the start of any NBA game.
The next few minutes highlight some of the most insanely dangerous driving this side of Ronin with some teams hootin’ and hollerin’ with joy (hello, Jet & Cord) and others that should’ve stocked up on Depends (Ron, Christina and the garbage truck that almost t-boned the cab as it ran a red light). Everyone is racing to Town Hall only to find out that they will be sleeping on the street until the 10 a.m. opening time.
The earlier teams of the Globtrotters, sisters, Goths and Zev & Justin do entertain themselves by egging on Gary & Mallory to keep running around looking for the clue box.
The gates are opening and the teams on a collision course with a Roadblock that was hinted at in the previews: Taste Tea. One person has to select a papaya and a mango from a table and then present it to a man with the tea wheel they got in China. Then it’s the daunting part. They have to identify the same tea they tasted in China approximately 18 hours earlier from a table with thousands of cups of tea. I bet Gary & Mallory would like to Express Pass their way out of this one.
Since everyone is essentially tied for first, here’s who stepped up to the tea challenge for their respective teams: Kisha, Kent, Zev, Flight Time, Jet, Mallory, Ron, and Luke. Ron’s well-exercised taste buds and sense of smell pay off in huge dividends as Angry Dad quickly picks the right one. Their clue under the cap of a bottle of iced tea directs them to the Tiwari Tea Stall. Now it’s time for them to find a cabbie they can trust when he says he knows where to take them. That rarely happens.
The remaining teams are using the ineffective method of choosing by color and then downing the tea before taking it to the clue holder. It’s like a giant experiment in trial and error, in which too much error results in you being on the verge of wetting your pants. The aforementioned Depends would definitely come in handy at this Roadblock. (Mental note: If I get on the Amazing Race, bring a pack of Depends, the unofficial sponsor of this recap.)
Jet finally uses the ol’ sniffer to identify the distinctive papaya or mango scent. He nails it that time and the cowboys are in second. The brothers quickly figure out the clue is under the cap. Kisha gets the right one for her team and they are close behind in third. Too bad that the sisters are just randomly asking where they make Snapple. While this is clearly wrong, someone appears to point them to the right area of town.
Next departing from the worst tea party in history are the Goths in fourth and an exhausted Mallory finally guesses right for her team to put them in fifth.
Zev, Flight Time and Luke continue to fill their bellies with tea but not their hands with a clue. At this rate, the caffeine in the dozens of cups they are consumed should carry them through the rest of the leg. A dropped cup by Zev in disgust at being wrong again is a great time for the first commercial break.
Thanks to March Madness, we appear to have a decreased number of ads, which shows that CBS really does care.
An exasperated Zev is the first one out of the commercial break to finish the Roadblock, leaving the Globetrotters and Margie & Luke battling for last. As Zev & Justin get in a cab, we cut to Ron & Christina leaving one lost cab to find another one and Kisha & Jen employing the same technique. The sisters are still trying to find the Snapple factory. They need to snap out of that way of thinking quick before the others pass them up.
With the team ahead of them unable to locate the Tiwari Tea Stall, Kent & Vyxsin are the first to get their Detour clue. This is quite a comeback for a team that should have been eliminated two weeks ago, if Phil hadn’t pulled out the Pitstop fake-out.
This Detour is between Hindu Art and Bengali Literature. For Hindu Art, they have to paint and dress a full-size statue of Ganesha. For Bengali Literature, they have to retrieve eight stacks of children’s books and load the books and themselves in to a school bus rickshaw. Then they are responsible for directing their "driver" to a specific school. While both are fairly straightforward in instruction, they both could be quite problematic. The Goths pick Hindu Art because (cue the Beastie Boys) she’s crafty.
On the flip side in second place, Gary & Mallory rationalize that the delivery is the way to go for them. Kisha finally suggests cracking open the tea bottle and lo and behold, they greet the discovery of the clue with a “Shut the ---- up.” Well, that is one way to make an impression to the fine folks of Calcutta.
Ron & Christina secure third at the Detour and opt for Hindu Art, as do the Snapple sisters. The cowboys, on the other hand, are stuck wandering the streets in search of the tea stall.
The daddy/daughter duo quickly finds the bookstore and load up their rickshaw. Wisely, they locate a man who speaks English to give them directions to the school, which they will then have to relay to their driver.
Jet & Cord finally stumble upon the tea stall and Zev & Justin’s cab gets them to the right destination. Both go for Bengali Literature. With three teams at each Detour option and two teams stalled out at the Roadblock, there is unlikely going to be a huge gap between teams. All three Hindu Art teams arrive in direct succession and get to painting.
How are Flight Time and Luke doing with the Roadblock, you may ask? In a word, “poorly.” It is torturous to watch them suffer on the challenge, so I can’t imagine the exhaustion and frustration that it was to live through it. Flight explains that they took a penalty last time and were eliminated. This time they made a pact they would not take a penalty for quitting a challenge. That line of thinking won’t be necessary because Flight makes the right choice and they are off to the Detour.
With tears (of tea, no doubt) streaming down his face, Luke seeks some encouragement from Margie. Personally, I am apathetic toward this team but I do actually empathize with how helpless Margie must feel not being able to help out her son. All right, now I get to go back to not caring any more with this well-timed commercial break.
Gary & Mallory knock out the Literature challenge and are the first team to head to the Pitstop. Meanwhile, the Art challenge is eerily similar to the daily prep that Kent & Vyxsin subject themselves to, so they are easily the first ones done at this option but second overall. There is very little wiggle room between them and Kisha & Jen and Ron & Christina because all the Art teams are done.
Luke has powered through the challenge and I would love to know the actual number of cups of tea he drank during this challenge before getting the clue. I have to give him credit for sheer resilience.
With Jet & Cord finding the school and delivering their books just ahead of Zev & Justin, only the long-suffering tea drinkers Flight & Easy and Margie & Luke have yet to even begin their Detour of choice, which both of them choose Hindu Art.
Not satisfied with Travelocity lining their coffers, The Amazing Race offers an extended commercial for Snapple at the Pitstop when first place finishers Gary & Mallory hit the mat. They not only are first but they get $20,000 and an Indian feast for being number one. All sponsored of course by Snapple.
Where is everyone else? They are all stuck in traffic. Predictably, Ron is complaining, Kent is shoving the clue in his driver’s face and Jet & Cord are just taking in everything around them. I would like to note that I have shown restraint about not making any cowboys and Indians reference when discussing Jet & Cord. This is quite of an accomplishment for me.
As the caboose on this train called the Amazing Race, the Globetrotters are close to finishing their painted statue when Margie & Luke arrive but Flight accidently kicks his can of brown paint onto the base of the statue. The judge tells them they have to repaint that section. I doubt it is a killer error but it doesn’t help keep a distance between them and last place.
Traffic finally clears up and four teams all converge on the Pitstop at once. A scurry to the mat results in Jet & Cord in second, Ron & Christina in third, Zev & Justin in fourth and Kent & Vyxsin in fifth (despite Jet’s miscount of telling them they were fourth).
The Globetrotters complete Hindu Art ahead of Margie & Luke but Flight being the good sport that he is, took time to give each of them a hug for not giving up at the Roadblock. This was a purely class move that had no underlying motive other than to show Luke respect. And folks, that is why I dig the Globetrotters.
Kisha & Jen were the late arrivals to the earlier party at the Pitstop but they are still in the race in sixth place.
Margie & Luke complete the Detour as the Globetrotters are still looking for a cab. This is a great time for some manufactured tension that the mother/son team would eclipse them. Of course, this doesn’t happen. Big Easy gives all the credit to Flight for carrying their team this leg and it is deserved. They are number seven.
This means that Margie & Luke are the fourth team eliminated and incidentally only teams from season 14 have been knocked out of the race so far this season. Kisha & Jen are the only ones remaining. Luke is understandably upset but proud of being able to do the race. This was quite an emotional episode all around. It appears that Margie & Luke needed Jaime & Cara more than I thought.
Here’s to the next episode in two weeks, when Kisha & Jen appear to build something out of manure.