Top Chef Recap
By David Mumpower
January 28, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
While I like Brian and the news of his elimination is unfortunate, the bigger story again last week did not involve an eliminated player. Instead, the focus remains on the simmering feud between Nick and Carlos, neither of whom I would describe as an alpha male in the conventional sense. For whatever reason, the dudes dumped their bromance in favor of becoming frenemies, which I guess makes them bromenies. Or does that make them sound too much like My Little Pony fans?
The most recent dust-up involved Nick’s claiming the land in the kitchen a la Tom Cruise in Far and Away (google it, Millennials!). Carlos had the audacity to walk within three feet of Nick’s pots, which created an odd form of territorial pissing wherein Nick shouted the word “POTS!” so often that it lost all meaning. Nick possesses the kind of temper that is usually reserved for Tina Turner’s exes. If he continues to behave so erratically, I am dubious that he can claim the title of Top Chef. While I like him a great deal, I have also grown to understand why he was the only person fired (well, not re-hired) at his last job. Nick has so many issues with rage that I wonder if he was exposed to excessive doses of gamma radiation.
Speaking of Nick, tonight’s episode begins with him lamenting his recent misfortunes. He has finished in the bottom group for three consecutive challenges, narrowly avoiding elimination once and being asked to resign in another instance. With only four chefs remaining, Nick has deduced what is readily apparent to the viewing audience. The women are the haves while Nick and his buddy (?) Carlos are the have nots. If something does not change, Nick will not be cooking in the finale.
The Philadelphian confides that his goal this season is to make his father proud. The elder Elmi has been stricken with Parkinson’s disease. Nick wants to demonstrate to his father that his decision to become a chef has been validated. Anyone who has ever wanted to make their parents proud of them can relate.
Coincidentally, Carlos provides a strong argument as to why Nick has already accomplished this feat. Anyone who reaches the final four out of the 19 chefs who started this season has already accomplished much. Carlos is absolutely correct that there are 15 people who would give anything to be in the position currently held by Nina, Shirley, Nick and Carlos. They all deserve a hearty round of applause for their achievements to date. Top Chef has become a brutal exercise in meritocracy.
The final four contestants arrive at Top Chef Kitchen in New Orleans for the final time. They are met by Padma, Gail and Tom, the Decider Trio. The chefs immediately brace for one of those pointless shocking twists that have become the (needless) staple of the show. Instead, there is only good news. The winner of today’s Quickfire will win another car, the Toyota Corolla. So, you know, not a good car.
Simply by standing in the kitchen, all of the remaining people have a 25% chance of a new car, which are the best odds anybody will get this side of The Price Is Right. The challenge involves two phases. The first is Gail’s challenge. It is heavily influenced (i.e. stolen) from Anthony Bourdain’s reality show, The Taste. The chefs must “create the perfect bite & serve it on a cocktail fork." If you have not watched The Taste – and lucky you if you haven’t – that is the core concept of the show. Before we finger wag Top Chef’s producers, I should note that there have been similar Top Chef challenges over the years. It simply feels less ethical now that an entire show is predicated upon the premise.
The start of the episode has been Nick-extensive, which is probably not a good sign for his Top Chef future. What is notable during the first phase of the Quickfire challenge is that Nick has an epiphany. He has (finally) deduced that chefs using three or four ingredients are winning challenges. He has been using seven or eight. Finally embracing simplicity, Nick utilizes deckle of beef, the key flavor in rib eye, to craft a steak and potatoes dish.
The realization of how Top Chef is about pleasing the judges rather than displaying impeccable dishes could be what saves Nick. The judges commented last week that his carrot dish demonstrated a lot of skill; it simply lacked imagination. Nick is finally thinking through a challenge and developing an endgame strategy. It’s about time.
Shirley also crafts a steak dish although she seems to use more ingredients. Carlos outdoes her with a shrimp dish with a complex gastrique. Nina also selects shrimp with pancetta. She crafts an escabeche that strikes me as a perfect demonstration of her natural skill. I stop typing, rewind and watch her technique. Nina is amazing.
Before the judging begins, we have another instance of Nick having a flare up. He accuses Shirley of changing the temperature in the oven from 300 degrees. His paranoia over oven temperature is understandable given what transpired last week. Shirley barks back at him in a way that identifies how such a small woman can demand respect in the kitchen. She is a firebrand. She also laughs during a monologue about how “Nick always act like a dick," noting that she never takes anything personally in the kitchen. I sincerely hope that Nick is watching these episodes and re-evaluating his behavior. There is a lot of truth to be discovered in that mirror.
During the presentation to the judges, Shirley experiences the worst fate. All parts of her bite collapse, falling off the fork. She has to rebuild her dish on the fly. With only four players remaining, that sort of mistake is automatically fatal. Nina is praised by Tom Colicchio for her shrimp flavors; her dish is too greasy, though. In a huge upset, both men advance to round two while the superior chefs, the ladies, are left watching.
The second heat requires Nick and Carlos to showcase their choice of eggplant or red bell pepper. Obviously, the feudin’ fellas embrace the heads up competition. Carlos crafts a soup, noting that when he wins, the dish will be added to his restaurant menu. He will call it Red Toyota Corolla Red Pepper Soup. Nick quickly forgets everything he just learned and builds two different versions of eggplant. He again wants to demonstrate his expertise.
Carlos is giddy at this turn of events. More than anyone else on Top Chef this season, Carlos appreciates the beauty of simplicity. The judges agree. In a slight upset, Carlos is chosen as the winner of the Quickfire challenge. Hey Mexique customers, enjoy your Red Toyota Corolla Red Pepper Soup! Carlos’ victory is a bad sign for Nick, who now lacks momentum and has been beaten in a one on one challenge by the other chef most likely to be eliminated tonight. Nick is in trouble.
Emeril joins the other judges in Top Chef Kitchen. He announces the details of the Elimination challenge, the final one in New Orleans. The chefs are required to combine all of their experiences in the Big Easy, crafting a dish that will leave an indelible impression on the city. It is a fitting challenge. Top Chef was derided for accepting taxpayer money to film in New Orleans. The producers of the show took that criticism to heart and embraced the local culture better than they have in any other season to date. A final dish that reflects this journey is the perfect decision.
I do not want to overstate the importance of this challenge. With only four players remaining, everyone including Louis will be heading to the next destination after New Orleans. This is not quite an all or nothing situation. The player eliminated tonight will have a chance to earn re-entry into the competition via two or three wins in Last Chance Kitchen. All that happens to the losing player is that they begin in the loser’s bracket when they reach the new location, which my TiVo tells me is Maui.
Before the challenge, the Top Chef quartet is rewarded in one of the coolest ways ever. They are treated to dinner at Emeril’s New Orleans. Emeril has set up a one-time only chef’s table in the kitchen. They are personally served by Emeril himself. As much as I love the caustic nature of Anthony Bourdain, Emeril has become my favorite guest judge on Top Chef. He also may be my favorite celebrity in the world. He seems like the nicest man on planet Earth.
The chefs are at the point in the competition where they have started fantasizing about winning Top Chef. After a few of them ponder the ramifications for their careers (spoilers: their careers will be better), we circle back to the theme of the episode. Nick is once again overthinking a dish. Shirley hilariously describes him as the best at this before correcting herself to say “the WORST." Nick is his own worst enemy. Then again, he is not the only one deciding upon unsettling fare. Carlos informs judges Tom and Emeril that he is crafting a tamale, which has as much to do with New Orleans as a California Spring Roll.
When the players present their dishes, Nina makes her second real mistake of the season, the first coming during the Louisiana State University challenge. Nina forgets to plate her malfatti. Forgetting a major component is a fatal error in most instances. The dish she presents is speckled trout with baby vegetables & barbecue sauce. Because Nina had spoken with Tom earlier about her dish, he instantly recognizes the issue and queries her about it.
Nina is a lucky woman. Tom samples her dish and notes to the other judges that the malfatti had included ricotta. Tom firmly believes that such a flavor would have overwhelmed the dish. The plate she presents that lacks the malfatti is extremely well received. While she will not win the challenge, she appears totally safe. There is a smile in Tom’s eyes as he critiques her dish.
The star of the episode, Nick, is next to present. The editing notes that he is harsh to the wait staff prior to meeting with the judges. Stating the obvious, Nick does not handle pressure well. His plate of food is gorgeous, though. It is charred cobia, roasted bass & tuna confit with crispy rice & shrimp consommé. The judges are largely positive about the flavors although one of them notes that it is a bit under-seasoned. As Nick mentions at one point during the episode, his two issues all season have been over-thinking his food and under-seasoning his dishes. At least he’s consistent.
Carlos plates next. He is quick to note that all of the ingredients in his dish are staples of New Orleans. He has built a steamed seafood tamale with saffron cream sauce & pickled okra. My mind recoils in horror at the ingredients of the dish, none of which I enjoy. Tom is annoyed that Carlos did not serve his dish on the banana leaf used during the preparations. He wanted to open his gift, so to speak. The other judges are quite complimentary with Emeril smiling as he states, “It works!”
The hottest chef is the last one to plate. Shirley has prepared black drum with Zhenjiang vinegar butter sauce, braised celery & mushrooms. The presentation is magazine cover quality. Since nobody else has screwed up thus far (Nina apparently sneaking her way past a mistake), I worry about Shirley’s safety. It would be an abomination if she did not make the finale. To my relief, the judges relish her dish. They are particularly impressed that she has included the Cajun holy trinity of onions, bell peppers and celery. I think that idea combined with the quality of the flavors has secured Shirley yet another victory.
Judges Table involves several hearty slaps on the back. The judges are unmistakably impressed with all four remaining players this season. Tom immediately absolves Nina of her concern, noting that since her forgotten component was not a New Orleans flavor, she would be judged only for what was on her plate. Hmm, Nina might win if that is the case. Tim lights up whenever he discusses her flavors.
Nick is less fortunate. Gail offers kind words about how much she loves his food. Tom, the voice that matters on Top Chef, feels that the fish was undercooked. Carlos is equally popular while absorbing a few nitpicks as well. Gail feels that the dish needed a bit more acid while Tom offers the strangest criticism of the season. Apparently, Carlos’ mousse was so flavorful that the seafood did not mesh well with that. That is easily solved, Tom. Do not eat the mousse with the seafood.
A lot of the mystery of the episode is revealed prior to the final commercial break. Padma informs Nina and Shirley that they served the best two dishes of the night. Shirley beams with joy before breaking into tears of joy, stating “I’m really happy to find myself.” Her words cause Gail and Emeril to tear up as well. This is a nice group of people in this room.
The winner of the challenge receives a wonderful bonus. Their (well, her) plate of food will be permanently added to the menu of Emeril’s New Orleans. Imagine going to a restaurant and seeing your dish on the menu. It’s a special thrill. And Shirley is the one who receives it. Next time you’re in New Orleans, folks, order some black drum with Zhenjiang vinegar butter sauce, braised celery & mushrooms for us! I would also note that Shirley is unstoppable right now. She has won four out of the last eight challenges. So, it’s everybody else four, Shirley four.
The judges debate who will be shipped to Last Chance Kitchen. Tom confides that they were both strong dishes, which has been a recurring theme in recent weeks. Nobody has been eliminated for a bad dish for a long time now. Emeril notes that the real mistake made in not serving the tamale on the banana leaf is that the dish is not as warm when served. As an expert in Mexican cuisine, Carlos should have known that.
Tom again laments the lack of salt in Nick’s dish. Padma explodes at this moment, noting that she cannot believe Nick is still making the same mistakes this deep into the competition. She describes it as Cooking 101. I feel that is a bit harsh as they are basically asking Nick to undo over a decade of training to satisfy their particular palates.
Carlos notes that his dish is more creative than Nick’s. That statement allows me to point out the obvious. After an entire season of the two befriending one another then butting heads repeatedly over silly stuff, someone is about to win the feud. Carlos forged ahead earlier in the episode by winning a heads up battle for a car, and I suggest the license plate of SUKITNIC. The person who survives the night has ultimate bragging rights, though. Well, that is true unless the other person emerges victorious in Last Chance Kitchen and returns to the competition.
Given the comments, I would ordinarily expect Nick to be eliminated. The episode has certainly been crafted to tell his story. My Spidey Senses are tingling. I start to suspect a swerve and sure enough, Nick is announced as the winner. Both chefs seem moderately surprised by this turn of events. Tom explains he decision in unspecific terms. “Nicholas just stepped it up a little bit more.” So Carlos wins the car and Nick wins the war. For what it is worth, the two gentlemen are cordial to one another, shaking hands and man-hugging twice before Carlos departs.
The final three on Top Chef this season are Nina, Shirley and Nick. Don’t bother watching Last Chance Kitchen. They do that annoying thing where the results are not revealed, making the entire exercise a waste of time. The winner of Louis versus Carlos will have a chance to earn re-entry into the competition. All five of these people will at least get a free trip to Hawaii out of the competition. That’s pretty great.