The Amazing Race Recap
By Stephanie DeGateo
November 22, 2006
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Dustin and Kandice, who were already at the stadium when we cut away last week, are next down the tower When they get their clue, Dustin validates more dumb blonde jokes by mentioning that Chernobyl is where the atomic bomb went off. Kimberly and Rob, Godwin and Erwin and Kaylyn and Lyn each find the clue box at the stadium and are searching for the tower. The teams are not sure where to go, but Karlyn states that they should follow the other two teams our into the field area. In today's recap, we are going to play a little game called Hypocrisy v. Self-Righteousness. Every time a team says or acts like a hypocrite, they will get a mark. Every time a team says or acts self-righteous, they will get a mark. Let's see which annoying team has the most annoying trait. The Lyns earn one mark in the hypocrite column for their decision to follow the Chos and Rob and Kimberly.
Karlyn and Kimberly head down the tower, while Godwin panics to the point where he takes off his equipment and makes Erwin go down the tower first. Erwin comes down the tower on his head – literally scraping his helmet on the tower. Lyn finishes and they are off. Lyn wants to know where the Chos are; Karlyn retorts that they can't worry about the Chos. Rob is down and they are off to Russia, as far as Rob is concerned. Kimberly questions whether Russia is correct, but indicates that she is geographically challenged so maybe she shouldn't really be questioning him on this point. I'm not sure a competition that is all about travel and geography is the best one for someone who is geographically challenged. Godwin finally makes it down the tower and he cries. When Godwin finds out the Lyns left without them, he voices his disappointment with a "dammit." Self-righteous mark!
At the airport, the models are annoyed that there are no flights to the Ukraine that night. They are booked on a morning flight to Kiev, the Ukrainian capital, through Vienna. Rob and Kimberly get to the airport, find out the flight the models and the beauty queens are on is overbooked and then, to add insult to injury, can't buy tickets that night. The three back teams purchase tickets to Kiev through Warsaw. The flights should get in at the same time; however, the Warsaw connection is delayed for 30 minutes. After the models and beauty queens land, they find the next clue on the old Russian cars they are required to drive. The teams are directed to drive 65 miles to the Oster Tank School, a military training school.
The beauty queens find a taxi driver to lead them to the Tank School; Tyler and James ask if they can follow them and split the fee. They are off. Thirty minutes later, Rob and Kimberly and the remaining alliance teams are in their cars. The Chos have a map and ask for directions. Karlyn stops them and asks if they know where they are going. When the Chos ask if they want to follow them, the Lyns agree. Hypocrisy mark! The Lyns proceed to complain about the fact that the Chos are lost and are searching for directions. Of course, they just sit in the car and complain. They don't get out to try and figure out the way to go – they don't get out to let the Chos know that, while they appreciate the help, they'll take in on their own from here on in. Nope – they'd rather just complain.
The models and the beauty queens get their roadblock clue – driving a Soviet-era tank through a course. Dustin and James take the task for their teams and Dustin completely kicks ass. James, meanwhile, stalls out, crashes into Dustin's tank and gets covered in mud. The teams then must drive back to Kiev and find some random apartment to get their next clue. Rob and Kimberly get to the tank school as they are leaving.
Despite the fact that they were following a cab, the Chos stop again for directions. Karlyn mentions that the Chos are indecisive. This may be the key to their insistence on the alliance – it means never making a decision alone, never putting themselves out there without the protection of another team being with them. Kimberly takes the task and does an awesome job. So awesome in fact that Rob claims that she is a "Super Human Creature from Outer Space." That's so romantic!
The Lyns ultimately find the school, despite the fact that the Chos were leaving. Lyn and Godwin take the task for their teams. Godwin finishes first and decides to wait for the Lyns. They justify this by commenting that if they travel together, they won't get lost and get to the route marker faster. Hmmm – I sense a foreshadow edit. The Lyns, to their credit, can't figure out why the Chos would wait. At least they get that this is a race.
Dustin and Kandice attempt to lose Tyler and James, who are following them by running a light. The models run the light, too. Rob and Kimberly's car overheats and they are forced to wait for a new vehicle. Luckily, the Chos can't navigate for shit, and according to Karlyn, they drive slow. We are again subject to Team Alabama complaining about the Chos' navigational skills. When the Chos stop to ask for directions, at least Lyn gets out this time to get them too. She also asks why they are driving so slowly. Despite the fact that they have their own directions and are annoyed at the speed of travel, the Lyns proceed to follow the Chos.
The beauty queens and the models get to the apartment and get their next clue, a detour. It is a choice that "pays tribute to the diverse musical heritage of the Ukrainian people." In Make the Music, the rich musical heritage the teams are to celebrate is...the "underground rap scene"?!? Seriously, the teams are directed to a club three miles away where they are to perform an original rap song that includes the names of all the countries they have visited. NO! Judging their performance is "Kiev's top rap artist," who looks like he's about 55 years old. But he's got that side-wearing baseball hat thing going, so that's a plus. In Find the Music, the teams go 2.5 miles to the National Music Academy where they are to search through thousands of sheets of music for Tchaikovsky's Concert Fantasy. After they find the sheet music, they then have to find one of six pianists in the 120 rehearsal rooms to perform the piece. A double needle in a haystack clue! It's still got to be less painful than rapping. At least, *watching* the needle in the haystack task will be less painful.
The Chos are still driving and stopping for directions and the Lyns are still complaining. Yet, they are still following. When Dustin and Kandice get to the club, to make the rap task just a bit more painful to watch, they must dress like rappers. They've got the baseball caps, the hoodies, and fake bling. This may be the most ridiculous task ever devised for this show. In contrast, the models are directed to change into black tie and tails before they search for their music. Dustin and Kandice wait until they get to the club to write their rap, rather than starting in the car. Rob and Kimberly are off to rap. They find to locals to help them to the club.
Meanwhile, the Chos have to yet again stop for directions. When Karlyn complains again, Lyn asks why she doesn't navigate. Karlyn remarkably says that she said before that they shouldn't be following them. Okay, really – then why are you?? Hypocrisy mark. Karlyn interviews that she "loves" the Chos, but Erwin is too indecisive, too afraid to get lost. Finally, the Lyns cut loose. However, they don't have the courtesy or decency to tell the Chos (or even just yell out that they're leaving). This action leads Godwin to curse and Erwin to voice his disappointment. Self righteous mark! The alliance is finally done – and it's fairly clear that so are the Chos.
The models find their sheet music and their pianist. Dustin and Kandice rap and it is indeed painful to watch. At least they looked like they were having fun. Each of the lead teams get their clues and they are off to the pit stop at the Patriotic War Memorial.
When the Chos decide to follow Team Bama, they are not happy. Karlyn states that "The Cho Brothers need to learn to run their own race." EXCUSE ME!! Look, you don't want to wait for them, fine. I can respect that. But after all the help they gave you (the flight information out of Madagascar is but one example), the least you can do is not give them grief for following you. Hypocrisy mark times ten.
Rob and Kimberly find the club and invite their locals in. The locals decline. Both the Chos and the Lyns are off to rap. The Lyns find someone to lead them and while the Chos could follow them, they choose not to. Erwin thinks they have "too much pride" to follow them. Self righteous mark times ten. Godwin meanwhile looks close to tears. Rob and Kimberly get their rap down, get their clue and they are off to the war memorial. Their locals are still waiting for them and ride in the car with them to the pit stop. Tyler and James check in as Team #1. Dustin and Kandice are Team #2.
The Chos get lost on their way to the club and end up asking for directions. They change tasks because the Music Academy is easier to find. Rob and Kimberly check in as Team #3. Lyn and Karlyn are set to rap and Lyn does this silly little walk – sort of like what Richard Pryor used to do, but not as cool. In fact, it's not cool at all. Anyway, they rap and it does look, for the first time in a while, that they are having fun. Erwin finds the music and finds a pianist. The Lyns get their clue, the Chos get their clue. And now it's a race to the pit stop. The Chos direct themselves onto a street that is closed to car traffic. They are stopped by the police and ordered to show him their "documents." Karlyn and Lyn make it to the pit stop and check in as Team #4.
This leaves the Chos as the last team to arrive and they are eliminated. Godwin cries again for the third time. They interview that they "wanted to run the race the way they were raised." Please! I certainly don't condone teams that cheat or sabotage others to get ahead, but this idea that they needed to run the race "right" is just bullshit. Nobility in this context is just hubris. Self righteous mark time 100. And with that, the Chos finally won something, winning the Hypocrisy v. Self Righteousness battle and earning my undying enmity, which is a shame because up until three legs ago, I was pulling for them all the way. I'm sure they'll be able to live with themselves as they hang out in sequesterville, for whatever that is worth.