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For Undead Romance Fans (you freaky, freaky perverts): True Blood Season 3

In researching True Blood for this column, I made the discovery that there is now a True Blood beverage. This is the actual description from the official HBO web site: “Sink your fangs into a bottle of Tru Blood, a delicious blood orange carbonated drink inspired by Bill's favorite synthetic blood nourishment beverage. Tart and slightly sweet, Tru Blood pours like a regular soda but appears stormy and mysterious when poured into a glass. Bottoms up - and vampires, remember to drink responsibly!” I think it’s safe to say that this is the single worst product endorsement in the history of merchandising. Still, if one of you brave readers wants to be a guinea pig for this, the link is below. Please drop us a note if it's good. I must admit I'm curious. I hope this doesn't mean I want to eat longpig, too.

Now that I have ruined your thirst for the rest of the day, let’s talk about season three of HBO’s wildly popular fang-fiction series. Handsome Bill Compton, the most rugged undead citizen of Louisiana (do vampires still qualify for citizenship?), is being held hostage by vampire king Russell Edgington. I didn’t realize Vampire kidnapping and ransom was a thing, but then again, I am a Resident Evil fan. If I see something that’s undead, I shoot at it. Since smitten Sookie wants her man back, she is forced to befriend a werewolf named Alcide Herveaux.

Sookie lives the semi-friendly confines of Bon Temps and heads to Mississippi where she passes on the option of hanging out with Brett Favre to instead visit Club Dead, a trendy vampire nightspot in the area. While there, she discovers that werewolves and vampires are plotting together, meaning that True Blood steals the plot of Undead: Evolution. She also discovers that the king of Mississippi is looking to take over Louisiana as well. As a fan of the Southeastern Conference, it’s nice to see that our rivalries extend beyond the grave. Stuff happens, people die and re-die and Sookie is eventually reunited with Bill, who is either furious or wildly titillated by her public service announcement declaring her bisexuality. Whatever the case, Bill and Sookie wind up splitting up this season, breaking the hearts of goth girls everywhere. I’m sure they’ll be having not quite necrophiliac sex again one day soon.









New DVD releases for June 1, 2011:

Drive Angry (R)
Biutiful (R)
Abbott & Costello Show: Hit The Road (Not Rated)
All The Worlds A Stage: Dress Rehearsal & The Thea (Not Rated)
America's Cutest Dog (Not Rated)
American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior (Not Rated)
And Give My Love To The Swallows / The Joke (Not Rated)
Bajo La Sal / Backyard (Not Rated)
Bands on the Run (Not Rated)
Battle of Britain (Not Rated)
Ben Bailey: Road Rage & Accidental Orinthology (Not Rated)
Brad Meltzer's Decoded: Season 1 (Not Rated)
Brute Corps (Not Rated)
Calvin Johannes: Reformer & Man Of Controversy (Not Rated)
Christine Schafer: My Art of Singing (Not Rated)
Classic Fighters (Not Rated)
Cross (R)
Darwin's Lost Paradise (Not Rated)
David Byrne: Ride, Rise, Roar (Not Rated)
DC Kids Fun 3-Pack (Not Rated)
DC Universe Fun 3-Pack (Not Rated)
Death Cab for Cutie: Live at Mt. Baker Theatre (Not Rated)
Death Will Have Your Eyes (Not Rated)
Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan: Season 5 (Not Rated)
Dry Land / How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer (Not Rated)
Eddie Vedder: Water on the Road (Not Rated)
Ellery Queen Mysteries (Not Rated)
Endure (R)
The Fabulous Beekman Boys (Not Rated)
Famous & The Dead (Not Rated)
Genius of Britain (Not Rated)
Goat Story (Not Rated)
Grand Canyon Serenade (Not Rated)
Guin Saga Collection 2 (Not Rated)
Hawker Hurricane (Not Rated)
Hijos del Carnival: Seasons 1 & 2 (Not Rated)
History Classics: Ancient Mysteries, Lost Cities (Not Rated)
History Classics: Barbarians (Not Rated)
History Classics: Dinosaurs (Not Rated)
History Classics: The Revolution (Not Rated)
History Classics: World War II, The War Chronicles (Not Rated)
Hunter Prey / Sleep Dealer (Not Rated)
If I Want To Whistle, I Whistle (Not Rated)
Immortal Beaver (Not Rated)
Jerusalem: City Between Religions Sites Of The Wor (Not Rated)
Joy of Sharing: Leonard Bernstein In Japan (Not Rated)
Kaboom (Not Rated)
The Kid: Chamaco / The Amexicano (Not Rated)
Lancaster at War (Not Rated)
The Line / Chasing 3000 (Not Rated)
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (Not Rated)
Livietta E Tracollo Giovanni Battista Pergolesi (Not Rated)
Lovers & Other Problems
The Making of Plus One (Not Rated)
Mazinkaiser SKL (Not Rated)
Mindy Mylrea: Best of Boot Camp (Not Rated)
Mindy Mylrea: Glutes, Guns & Guts (Not Rated)
The Ministers / Hotel California (Not Rated)
Nature: Salmon (Not Rated)
Neil Young: Music Cares Tribute (Not Rated)
Netrebko / Polenzan: Donizetti: Don Pasquale (Not Rated)
Never Apologize (Not Rated)
A Nightmare in Las Cruces (R)
Noam Chomsky: Extraordinary Minds (Not Rated)
Over Kansas City (Not Rated)
Paname: Finding Love In The Oddest Of Places (Not Rated)
Passion Play (R)
Pay Back (Not Rated)
Phil Plait's Bad Universe (Not Rated)
Pierre Boulez: In Rehearsal (Not Rated)
Prey (Not Rated)
Primal Scream: Scremadelica Live (Not Rated)
Psych: The Complete Fifth Season (Not Rated)
Red Green Show: 2002 Season (Not Rated)
The Red Green Show: Midlife Crisis (Not Rated)
Rogelio Martinez: Tributo A Jose Alfredo Jimenez (Not Rated)
Rookie Blue: The Complete First Season (Not Rated)
Savage County (Not Rated)
Secrets of the Dead: China's Terracotta Warrior (Not Rated)
Secrets of the Dead: Lost In The Amazon (Not Rated)
SG-U Stargate Universe: The Complete Final Season (Not Rated)
Shanghai Red (Not Rated)
Stanley Kubrick: Essential Collection (Not Rated)
Streetball (Not Rated)
Supermarine Spitfire (Not Rated)
Swamp People: Season 1 (Not Rated)
Teotihuacan City of the Gods (Not Rated)
True Blood: The Complete Third Season (Not Rated)
Undertow (Not Rated)
The Waiting City (R)
WWE: Extreme Rules 2011 (Not Rated)
Yo Yo Ma: Extraordinary Minds (Not Rated)
Zubin Mehta in Rehersal (Not Rated)

New Blu-Ray releases for June 1, 2011:

Almighty Thor
American Graffiti
Big Jake
Biutiful
The Cat O' Nine Tails
Chicago Cubs: The Heart & Soul of Chicago
A Clockwork Orange
David Byrne: Ride, Rise, Roar
Drive Angry 3-D and 2-D
Drive Angry
Frantic / Presumed Innocent
Hubble (IMAX) 3-D +
Legend Ultimate Edition
A Man Called Horse
Nature: Salmon
Neil Young: Music Cares Tribute
Once Upon A Time In The West
Passion Play
Primal Scream: Scremadelica Live
Rio Lobo
Rookie Blue: The Complete First Season
Stanley Kubrick: Essential Collection
True Blood: The Complete Third Season
Undertow
WWE: Extreme Rules 2011
Yu Yu Hakusho: Season 1

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