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The Quickfire challenge does afford Stephanie the opportunity to be her usual quirky self. May favorite quote during her self-evaluation is this. “There is a pivotal moment when I decide to just make the absolute wrong decision.” She also describes her dish as “Weird, so weird.” Stephanie will never be accused of lacking humility. She later coins the Seuss-ian phrase “bacon and coffee ham jam” to describe her dish. God, she’s fun.

A couple of other noteworthy moments occur I will briefly mention. Carlos describes how he told his future wife that they would get married only moments after they met. That was 20 years ago. If this were a Nicholas Sparks movie, one of them would have to die now.

Nina says something that makes me sit up and take note. She states Nick is her strongest competitor this season. That is praise from Caesar, my friends. And speaking of people obsessed with phallic imagery, Brian is making a risotto because he believes that sometimes you have to let your balls swing. That sounds great right up until we consider that risotto is the dish of doom on Top Chef, and Quickfire challenges have 30 minute time limits as a rule.

Hubert reveals the winners. Sure enough, Brian’s risotto does not work well and lacks coffee flavors. I blame Dunkin Donuts, sponsors of tonight’s challenge. Nick may have the respect of Nina, but Hubert believes that the texture of his dish is “unpleasant.” Nick adds the odd thought that if “someone’s gonna be on the bottom, might as well be me.” That is loser talk, Nick. Nina thinks you’re good so maybe you should start talking some daily affirmation lessons from Stuart Smalley. He embraced positivity and wound up becoming a United States senator!

The top three are Shirley, Carrie and Stephanie. The women are once again in charge this season. Of course, Stephanie was convinced that she had shamed her ancestors with her dish so her look of surprise is priceless. I half-expect her to do a Sally Field “you like me, you really like me!” impression.

As creative as her dish was, however, Stephanie cannot surpass Shirley, who earns immunity and $10,000. Given that Shirley is already high strung, I half expect her to spontaneously combust at the announcement of victory. Shirley surprises me by being relatively low key about it although she immediately announces an intention to buy an air conditioner for her home in Nevada. Since the temperature is frequently north of 100 degrees there, I think that is a fairly solid investment. Of course, she could also stay cooler by not burning so much energy by constantly moving and talking. I’m just thinking out loud here.

Another Hollywood celebrity enters the kitchen to announce the Elimination challenge. New Orleans native Anthony Mackie arrives. He is a favorite of mine for his work in We Are Marshall, She Hate Me and especially The Adjustment Bureau, although you probably know him best for The Hurt Locker. He is also going to portray comic book hero The Falcon in the Disney Marvel universe. Eat your heart out, Lea Michelle!

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