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Guess who is running late! That’s right, Josie continues to be on the show, a mistake I hope will be corrected each and every week. It never is. Because of this, a bunch of aggravated Bite of Seattle patrons stand and watch her cook food, misfire in her attempts to be entertaining and fake-laugh awkwardly. Cancel the Josie Show, Top Chef producers. I’m begging you.

Josie’s restaurant concept is not Abject Failure, interestingly enough. Instead, she chooses Home 305, which I believe starred Marla Gibbs as a sassy housewife. Josie must be a fan. Apparently, the underlying concept is Miami and Miami means roast pork. Josie attempts to cook Puerco asado, black bean chorizo croquette, pickles & mojo sauce. I bet the judges hate it. Hey! The judges hate it. Micah, if you get eliminated instead of Josie, I’m strangling you with your own bandana.

Brooke takes time out from watching in horror as Josie fails (seriously) to present her concept, Un-Kosher. The idea is to prepare historically Kosher dishes with non-Kosher ingredients. That’s fairly brilliant. Her dish is a matzo ball soup with duck confit & toasted black rye bread. Surprisingly, the judges do not like the matzo ball. “It’s offensive to my people,” Gail quips. Hmm, I’m now dubious about Brooke being a captain for Restaurant Wars.

After the largely triumphant event is over, Sheldon, Kristen and Josh are invited to Judges Tables. Obviously, this is the top half of the draw so my Brooke vs. Kristen bracket is up in flames March Madness style. The judges warmly endorse all of the concepts but it is clear who the winners will be. Sheldon’s Urbano will face off against Kristen’s…vaguely named French thingy. They win $10,000 each while Josh is left to awkwardly stand there and pretend to be happy for them and not at all jealous. This segment really sucks for Josh.

An odd situation follows. The judges instruct Sheldon and Kristen to return to the waiting room and select their Restaurant Wars team before they discover who will be up for elimination. Kristen gets to pick first in the Top Chef draft and she quickly selects Brooke, meaning that Sheldon’s team is already in a world of hurt. He selects Josh; then, Kristen counters with Lizzie. Josh is left with Stefan and the dregs so he chooses Stefan.

This moment creates a fascinating quandary for Kristen. She will have an extra player advantage as long as none of her selections are eliminated. Would a player be better served with an additional chef if said chef is Josie? I say no. I am surprised when she selects Josie over Micah. I presume that she recognizes Micah is likely to go home and figures that a four to three advantage is huge in Restaurant Wars. Personally, I would rather have fewer players and no Josie.

The bottom group features one surprise. Lizzie rather than Stefan is nominated for elimination, where she joins Micah and Josie. As much as I cannot stand Micah, Tom’s tone makes it clear that he never understood Micah’s concept. It’s not only ill conceived but also lazy, surprising for such a hard working chef. Micah wanted to share a personal discovery that had benefited him in his life. The judges were not impressed and he is eliminated from Top Chef at the very moment he seemed to be ascending. Prepare to be strangled with your own bandana, Person Who Lost to Josie.

The news grows worse for Micah at Last Chance Kitchen. CJ has already eliminated six players in five challenges. He saves his best for this moment, though. For whatever reason, CJ comes up with the odd idea to pickle duck skin in order to enhance the flavor of his dish. The competition is already almost as soon as it begins. Tom Colicchio is so impressed by CJ’s creation that he notes it is CJ’s finest of the competition thus far. Micah presents a delicious dish that redeems him for the earlier raw food mistake but he loses to CJ. Micah is gone gone gone. I blame raw food, which nobody should ever eat.

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